Doing it right...

Yesterday Flower Patch Farmgirl (who I am secretly best friends with, problem is she doesn't know yet :) wrote about "taking herself out to lunch"

So today I took myself out to lunch.

I haven't been feeling very good for a few months so food has been a bit of a struggle, but it's one I am going to win dang it! So yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought everything that sounded good. 

Strawberries made the cut, so I enjoyed them for lunch with an Everything Bagel toasted sandwich with guac, lettuce, and chicken. Like I said I haven't been able to eat very well lately, but I ate the whole thing. 

And it was so good!

Doesn't it look good?! Or am I just glorifying this sandwich :)

I did want to share a link to an article that my sister shared with me today called "to the mother of only one child". At this point in my life that is me. And I think it's hard. Well the women who wrote it wrote it so beautifully you really should just go read it, but she says, "My dear, it is hard.  You’re not being a wuss or a whiner when you feel like your life is hard.  I know, because I remember having “only one child.”  You may not even believe how many times I stop and reflect on how much easier my life is, now that I have nine children."

I love her for saying that! Sometimes you just need to validated by someone who has the power, and I am pretty sure as a mother of nine she has the power to do a lot of things, including validate me :) Now don't get me wrong, I adore staying home with my son and you could not pay me enough money to do something else. But it is hard. It's hard to not know what to do all day. It's hard feeling like you're doing it wrong. It's also a little boring. I mean I love his slobbery kisses but I can only be a chew toy for so long before I start itching for some grown up conversation and a decent shower. 

But she goes on to talk about why it's hard. And I'm not gonna lie I cried while I read it. She said, " Dear mother of only one child, don’t blame yourself for thinking that your life is hard.  You’re suffering now because you’re turning into a new woman, a woman who is never allowed to be alone.  For what?  Only so that you can become strong enough to be a woman who will be left." 

I think I have been feeling that since the day my son was born, but didn't know how to put substance to it. I think I've always realized I would be left by him and that's hard. But it's wonderful. I want him to have what I have. To fall in love with someone wonderful and get married, and have babies of his own. To find out about things he loves and then to do them. To experience the world in a special and beautiful way and to have a good life. And if I held onto him forever he wouldn't have any of that, and that hurts more than letting him go. 

She ends the post with this, " Dear mother, don’t worry about enjoying your life.  Your life is hard; your life will be hard.  That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re doing it right."

So I'm holding on, because I'm doing it right...